


Waiting To Exhale

by Fearmongering



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, Gladnis, Hurt/Comfort, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 04:58:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18958357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearmongering/pseuds/Fearmongering
Summary: Gladio has been angry for days, and Ignis’ ability to dodge his questions finally does him in. He had originally considered doing this in private, but here they are, with him running headlong into things; not thinking it through again.Written for the Honor and Duty Zine.





	Waiting To Exhale

There is a tightness in his chest every time he thinks about finding them on the altar, Ignis in pain and Noctis laying out on the cold stone. For a moment he had thought the prince wasn’t breathing, that cold washed over him that did not come from the rain or the spray of the ocean a horrific realization that he had failed every oath of protection he had solemnly given. He had frozen in that moment, and reached out to the one he knew was still _alive_ and wasn’t sure what to tell him, how to do anything in that moment other than say nothing until Prompto’s relieved, choked sob let him know Noctis was still with them. 

Gladiolus Amicitia has always been one for action and knowing he had frozen up, had not been there for those two, has weighed on him heavily. He does his best to keep going because they have to. Because there is no stopping even with Noctis’ listlessness, Ignis’ injury or his own guilt-worry to anger to more guilt cycle. Time stops for no one, leaves no room to grieve. 

He spends a lot of that train ride by Ignis’ side, at least the first part of it. Gladio cannot stand seeing Noctis the way he is right now because he feels unable to _help._ Here he can physically do something at the very least. He walks behind him as the man learns to tell the length of the train cars by step, and as Ignis tries to find door handles and knobs making it look effortless. He knows his friend feels frustrated and helpless, and his fighting with Noctis over all this isn’t a help to anyone. So he tries to make it up to him as much as he can without hovering. 

Ignis pulls up short and stops as a door slides open without any regard to the people passing. As it flies open,Gladio’s training kicks in; muscling in front as Ignis starts from the sudden movement from all around him. He knows it will hurt the man’s pride later, but for now, stopping anything from hurting his friends is more important. 

Because he couldn’t before.

A little girl rushes out, and Gladio looks down at her, hard eyes softening in a moment. He shifts and murmurs an apology, the brush of the body next to him finally brings him back to the present. He steps forward and then turns to put a hand to Ignis' side, guiding him to safety and not caring that he takes up the whole hall to do so.

The next car, when they get to it, is empty and he stops short, taking a deep breath so they can both get their bearings.

“You alright?” He asks.

Ignis gives a sideways twitch of his head which is neither nod of confirmation or rejection. Noncommittal and not giving a definite answer to his question. He looks over the man, at the scars still angry and red with swelling. Every time Gladio looks at him, his chest tightens like something sharp’s dug into him, waiting for that moment he exhales to dig deeper in.

“I am afraid I may have overreacted to the surroundings shifting too quickly for me to process. If there was actual danger or not I couldn’t say. I shall try to not do that again.”

At least the apology is delivered with his crisp and on-point analysis. All good, one would think, except that Gladio knows him better than that. It's an apology when he had asked an entirely different question moments ago.

“That isn't what I asked.” He says, and a little bit of that sharpness slips through his voice. 

Gladio has been angry for days, and Ignis’ ability to dodge his questions finally does him in. He had originally considered doing this in private, but here they are, with him running headlong into things; not thinking it through again.

“You've been avoiding the subject with all of us, but we can't dance around this anymore, Ignis. Tell me the truth this time.”

He has to know; know what he’s dealing with when they finally get to this tomb, to Niflheim and beyond. It isn’t fair for him to lash out at Ignis he knows, but Gladio is so _afraid_ of what the other planned to do once they got off the train. Would he charge recklessly forward so that the Shield can't watch all of them? Fall behind? Can he protect him, Noctis and Prompto all on his own? Should he force him to go back to Caem?

He just doesn't know.

The sound of the moving train fills up the space around them. Between them. The slight swaying of the train seems to drain away the energy keeping Ignis going; one little bump at a time, he hunches down. Not much but just enough to make a difference to how had been standing after the question had been asked.

“I do not know, Gladio. I do not even know what either answer would even mean... Not any longer.”

The truth of the matter was that Gladio didn’t know either. What he would have done with any answer Ignis gave him? They were comrades, he didn’t have any rank on the other; even if he did want to pull the other off of this mission. 

(In the back of his mind he was still desperately hoping Iggy's sight could get better. Despite the fact that they were past most points of medical advice right now, and all they had left was hope. That was the only thing that's keeping them going forward right now, anyway.)

He was quiet, defeated by seeing the other crumple like that. All of Gladio's anger turned into a heavy guilt, just like it always did. Even after the trials, the scars he had to show for it, the years he’d known every single one of them….

“I know, I'm sorry. I just…” _Just wished there was something, anything I could do._ “I feel like I can't reach Noctis, either. Like we're breaking apart.”

There is a pause; long, quiet, but the two of them facing each other in this small, cramped part of the train. Ignis can no longer see him but that has never stopped the man from knowing him so well, and when he turns his face up toward Gladio’s own, it is hard to keep looking. 

“I... cannot presume to know exactly what is on Noctis's mind, but it cannot be easy. When he was hurt before…” 

Ignis remembers, remembers it far better than Gladiolus did. He had always been by Noctis’ side, even at such a young age while Gladio was training, was learning, was being a child… And there they are; suffering from him not being there again.

(If he could, just for a moment, stop the anger-guilt-anger cycle he was going through, he would know it wasn’t his fault as much now as it was then. Ignis is speaking again though, and Gladio pries his eyes off the floor to look and listen.)

“He needs to find his own answers, Gladio. How to deal with those losses, with the inability to prevent them. All that you and I have taught him, it only goes so far. So anything we say merely makes things worse.

"But he is still here with us, and has not given up. Have faith in him a little longer. Please.”

Gladio’s breath is caught in his throat, the blister of something painful pushing through him and escaping through his teeth. Angry, vitriolic, hurt because others are hurt. How can someone be so selfish right now?

“How much longer will be enough, Iggy? We're getting closer and closer to the Capitol, we _can't_ do this on a wing and a prayer when there's not even any left to hear them. On bl-”

_'On blind faith'_ is an expression that only seems like cruel irony right now. He stops himself, or at least he would like to think that he did. Ignis’ fingers land on his cheek, close to his lips. It’s with a pang in his heart Gladiolus realizes that they were meant for his lips. The contact is enough to make his teeth click together as he shuts his mouth, keeping it shut even as that gloved touch drops away. 

He wished it hadn’t. 

“He is here. He has not given up on trying, yet. Do not give up on him; if we do that, if we give up on him... What will we be anymore?

We must stand by him, and each other.”

Ignis pauses, taking a slow breath in and lets his shoulders straighten. Even without sight, he looks and sees Gladio for everything he is in that very moment, just in the way he knows all of them and what they need to hear.

“I will fight for us, Gladio.”

In his heart, Gladio knows he speaks the truth, and that he would do the same.


End file.
